Lost in the Translation

[Chili]

English is widely used on signs at hotels and businesses around the world. Unfortunately, the intended meaning does not always survive the translation.

In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing please not to read notis.

In a Romanian hotel: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a German elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Yugoslavian elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving then going alphabetically by national order.

In a French hotel lobby: Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a Hong Kong ad: Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.

In a Greek hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In a Moscow hotel: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

On a Swiss menu: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In an Austrian ski lodge: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

At a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

At a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.

At a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.

In a Moscow newspaper: There will be an exhibition of arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

At a German camping site: It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

At a Czech tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.

At a Danish airline: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a Moscow hotel: If this is your first visit to the U.S.S.R., you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

At a Hungarian zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

At a Roman doctor's office: Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

In a Japanese hotel room: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

At a Tokyo car rental firm: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

[Elrusion Startail]

Au, Aua und Auweh