Top Twenty Rules for Surviving a Horror Movie

[Chili]

Top Twenty Rules for Surviving a Horror Movie

It's October, and most of the world will soon celebrate Halloween, Day of the Dead, or some other fairly macabre holiday. So in keeping with that theme, here are some helpful pieces of advice to follow in the unlikely event you find yourself in a horror movie.

When it seems that you've killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.

Do not search the basement, especially when the power has just gone out.

When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off or go off alone.

Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other resting place of the dead.

If you come across a town that looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.

If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.

Don't open the closed door, especially if you hear scratching, heavy breathing, or any other strange noises from the other side.

When you land on a distant planet and find some alien objects that look like eggs, leave them alone.

When one of your spaceship's crew finds a hideous parasite attached to his face (as a result of disobeying the previous rule), don't let him back on the ship. The guy's dead meat anyway.

Don't explode atomic bombs in the Arctic, Pacific atolls, or deep beneath the ocean. These locations are thickly inhabited with survivors from the prehistoric past that will invariably be reanimated by the radiation.

Don't explode atomic bombs in the desert, which are full of many insect species just waiting for their chance to mutate into gigantic forms.

If you must run screaming through the woods, dress appropriately. Jeans and sneakers always beat a flimsy nightgown and high heels.

If you are home alone and you hear a noise coming from another room or outside your window, don't assume it's just the house settling or the wind.

Always check the back seat of your car.

Never announce openly that you're not afraid, you don't believe, or you're fully prepared. You're just asking for it.

Never watch a horror movie while you're in a horror movie.

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

Always be nice to the shy, quiet, unpopular girl in school.

Remember that campfire legends always come back to haunt you.

If the locals advise you to stick to the road, stay off the moors, and beware the full moon, take heed.

[Elrusion Startail]

Das sind genau die Sachen die jeder schon mal bei Horrorfilmen versucht hat den "dummen" Leuten im Fernseher oder Kino zuzurufen.

"Nein, Du Idiot, nicht die Treppe runter in den Keller !!!"
"Mach jetzt bloss nicht die Tür auf"
"Vorsiiiicht Hinter Dir !!!"