witzig

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A jeweler watches as a huge truck pulls up in front of his store. The <br>back comes down and an elephant walks out. It breaks one of the store <br>windows with a tusk and then, using its trunk like a vacuum cleaner, <br>sucks up all of the jewelry.<br><br>The elephant then gets back in the truck and it disappears.<br><br>When the jeweler finally regains his senses, he calls the police. The <br>detectives arrive and the jeweler tells them his story.<br><br>"Could you describe the elephant?" the cop asks.<br><br>"An elephant is an elephant," he replies. "You've seen one you've <br>seen them all. What do you mean 'describe' him?"<br><br>"Well," says the policeman, "there are two types of elephants, <br>African and Indian. The Indian elephant has smaller ears and is not as large as the African elephant."<br><br>"I can't help you out," says the jeweler, "he had a stocking pulled over his head."<br><br> <p>written by<BR>Tidoc Linoque (EQ)<BR>Fydoor Linoque (EQ)<BR>Codit Corpseraider (EQ)<BR>Arztim Dienst (EQ)<BR>Sir Tidoc (UO)<BR>Michael Stowasser(RL)</p><i></i>

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A guy is sitting at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the <br>city. He's slamming tequila left and right. He grabs one, drinks it, <br>goes over to a window and jumps out. The guy who was sitting next to <br>him couldn't believe that the guy had just done that. He was more <br>surprised when, ten minutes later, the same guy, unscathed, comes <br>walking back into the bar and sits back down next to him. The <br>astonished guy asks "How did you do that? I just saw you jump out <br>that window and we're hundreds of feet above the GROUND!". The jumper <br>responds by slurring, "Well, I don't get it either. I slam a shot of <br>tequila and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow <br>down right before I hit the ground. Watch." He takes a shot, slams it <br>down, goes to the window and jumps out. The other guy runs to the <br>window and watches as the guy falls until right before the ground, <br>slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the guy <br>walks back into the bar. The other guy has to try it too, so he <br>orders a shot of tequila. He drinks it and goes to the window and <br>jumps. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn't slow down at all...SPLAT! <br>The first guy orders another shot of tequila and the bartender says <br>to him, "You're really a jerk when you're drunk, Gabriel."<br><br> <p>written by<BR>Tidoc Linoque (EQ)<BR>Fydoor Linoque (EQ)<BR>Codit Corpseraider (EQ)<BR>Arztim Dienst (EQ)<BR>Sir Tidoc (UO)<BR>Michael Stowasser(RL)</p><i></i>