911 Calls

[Dunkelzahn]

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gun shots coming from the brown house
on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse & slacks, why?

++++++++++


Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is your emergency?

Caller: Someone broke into my house &
took a bite out of my ham & cheese
sandwich.

Dispatcher: Excuse me?

Caller: I made a ham & cheese sandwich & left it on the kitchen table &
when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

Caller: No, but this has happened to me before & I'm sick & tired of it.

+++++++++


Dispatcher: Nine-one-one

Caller: Hi, is this the police?

Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?

Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a
turkey? I've never cooked one before.

++++++++++


Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. Fire or emergency?

Caller: Fire, I guess.

Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?

Caller: I was wondering.....does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their
trucks?

Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?

Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on
my tires & .... well.... do you think the Fire Dept. could come over &
help me?

Dispatcher: Help you what?

Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!

+++++++++

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an
eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine- one-one

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one &
nine-eleven are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

++++++++++

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What's the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant & her contractions are only two minutes
apart.

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband

++++++++++

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one

Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
Darn...I think I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North & Foster. Damn......

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Caller: No

Disipatcher: What where you doing before you started having trouble
breathing?

Caller: Running from the police.

[Elrusion Startail]

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an
eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine- one-one

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one &
nine-eleven are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Das ist mein Favorit

[Sanyarin]

just lool ... man sind die amis bescheuert ... naja ... auf 250 millionen kommen auf jeden fall nen paar idioten